I'm moaning and nagging!
Dear Caroline
I am 25 and have been married for three years, I have 2 young children to my husband. I hope you can help me as I have no one else to turn to. My husband is becoming increasingly distant towards me and I feel used and taken for granted. Although I am thoughtful and caring towards him he doesn't do anything to try and make me happy any more. I know he is very busy and under pressure from work but he never comments on my appearance and doesn't seem to care what I do. When I try to confront him he just tells me I'm moaning and nagging.
I love him so much he is a good father and I could be so happy with him if he were like he used to be, but I feel as though he is making it harder for me to love him and find myself fantasising about other men I spend hours thinking what it might be like to be with someone who found me attractive and interesting. I also wonder whether he himself might be having an affair as he has lost interest in sex. He flicks through the channels on the television and if there's nothing he wants to watch he turns to me. Please don't tell me to put more effort in myself as I've really tried doing the things for him that I would like myself and he doesn't seem to take the hint.
Thank you in anticipation.
Downtrodden wife.
Hi,
I'm pretty sure all marriages go through this very same dilemma, men whose wife's take them for granted, they work all day, pay the mortgage and the bills, , worry about what to do about the holidays etc.... worry about the people they work with, the jobs to do the next day , the kids and wife's and their safety and all the rest of the day to day dilemmas too. They worry about all that and some more and cant have time to say how lovely you're looking or how nicely you've made the meal or even notice you at all in your very own home! No matter what you've tried doing!!!!!!! or tried wearing day or night!!!!!!!
Responsibilities can hit men very hard and its very slow coming too, women just get on with it we are the maternal mother nature make doers and get on with it brigade!!! Cold, flu, or typhoid fever!!! Men on the other hand need nurturing a little too, treating him with some kindness instead of asking him to pay you a compliment!!! men don't like being pushed in to paying compliments believe me!!! If he's lost interest in sex, its not because he's having an affair he's probably too tired and so are you. If you feel that you've made an effort to understand his ways and asked if there's anything bothering him at work or wherever then you've done tour bit and tried to resolve the issue of him being stagnant with you.
Tell him your a bright and gorgeous woman who wants her man to be affectionate to her because you love him and want to retain your relationship that once was. what's wrong with that, and if there's anything he should be telling you then now is the time to get it off his chest. Then listen. if you reason with him and try to work out the issues whatever they will be then you have the power to resolve your problem, if he says something you don't like i.e. an affair then you and only you can make a decision on where your future lies. remember the key to relationship is interaction and communication you must maintain it or it could breakdown. you have the key so use it and make this relationship work and it will if you both want it to.
Regards
Caroline